Why Speaker Johnson shouldn’t use what’s in the Bible to craft legislation. — In a free-wheeling interview with Sean Hannity on Fox News, God said he was shocked by a statement by Mike Johnson, Speaker of the U. S. House of Representatives. Johnson was asked what he thinks “about any issue under the sun.” He replied “pick up a Bible off your shelf…

Will he last longer than this head of lettuce? — The Republicans in the House of Representatives have made Mike Johnson their new Speaker. But they’re already looking for his successor. That’s because they know it’s just a matter of time before they fire him. Inevitably, he’ll have to tell them play time’s over. Stop jumping on the furniture. Stop…

I always feel like I’m chasing my tail. — My name is Piper La Grange, I’m a female Border Terrier, and I edit the articles my mom writes. I’m here to discuss a problem furry editors have when we critique our parents’ writings: they often reject our editorial suggestions. It doesn’t make sense. We consider our advice carefully. It…

But according to the Florida Board of Education’s new rules. — The Florida Board of Education¹ wants Sunday Schools to use Old Testament stories to help kids understand current affairs. The story of Noah, for example. “God said unto Noah, the earth is filled with violence. I [shall] flood waters upon the earth, and every thing shall die. But thou shalt…

First he took on the Magic Kingdom. Now it’s the Kingdom of Heaven.

They were already committed. Now they’ve actually been committed. — A judge has ruled that the Michigan Republican Party is incapable of rational thinking. He’s ordered it to be committed to a psychiatric hospital for treatment until it can handle its own affairs. The order has been suspended, however, at the request of patients at the state’s facilities. “I see…

But Evangelical Christians trash Christ, prefer Trump. — Jesus Christ, a one-time spiritual entrepreneur, and chief marketing officer of a divine enterprise founded by his Heavenly Father, has announced that he’s a Republican candidate for President of the United States. He figures White Evangelicals will automatically support him. Yet to his chagrin, there are already signs they won’t…

She jumps on it with boyfriends, then assumes the cosplay position. — My name is Piper La Grange, I’m a ten-year-old female Border Terrier, and I’m here to talk with my fellow bitches and boners about a problem: keeping our humans off our furniture. Take your living room sofa. It’s not just where you watch poodle porn on DOGTV. Its where your…

The Michigan town which used a Florida law to ban books in the Bible. — A Michigan city has enacted a book-banning law which puts the Florida bill its based on to shame. It requires libraries to remove any book which makes someone feel uncomfortable. The initial targets were school textbooks which encouraged “recreational” sex, and presented “negative” views of U. S. History. But recently…