And replaced them with a Baywatch princess, a Sharknado queen, and a bodice-ripper cover king. — A Catholic church in Michigan has increased attendance at Mass by jazzing up Communion. It sidelined the traditional wine and wafers, and uses modern pairings instead. At Easter Mass, a malty red lager stood in for the blood of Christ, and Ritz bacon crackers represented His body. Christmas Eve Communion…

The Republicans who are making a Michigan county like Florida — The Republican commissioners for Midland County, Michigan have gone above and beyond to “stop the woke spread of transgenderism.” They already prohibit surgery to change a person’s sex. That’s per their version of Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay Law.”¹ Now they’ve updated it to include people’s pets. …

I’m tired of her tugging the leash and jumping on men. — My name is Piper La Grange, I’m a female Border Terrier, and my human Mom has behavior problems. I don’t know what to do. Especially when I take her for walks down the street. She sniffs. She licks. She paws. …

The MAGA makeover of a Michigan county. — Last November, Christian Nationalists¹⁵ won most of the seats on the board of commissioners for Ottawa County, Michigan. To say they’re right-wing is an understatement. They make the conservatives they primaried look like namby-pamby RINOs (Republicans In Name Only). However, they’ve assured residents they’ll govern responsibly. Indeed, their first act…

Teaching people to achieve a common goal — The secret agreement made by Kevin McCarthy to become Speaker of the House has been made public. Most of it isn’t surprising. The committee assignments for Freedom Caucus members. Creation of subcommittees to harass the Biden Administration. Kevin’s promise to undergo Matt Gaetz’s next colonoscopy for him. But one item…

Before you walk out on strike, ask yourself: “Do I feel lucky?” — To those of you who are familiar with my writing, please note: this article deals with a serious subject. If you prefer to read my satires, skip this piece and wait for the next one to be published. Labor strikes in the United States have sharply increased during the last…

Warning, this story is rated R for Ruff. — My name is Miss Piper La Grange. I’m a ten-year-old Border Terrier. I’m here to respond to dogs who think I’m a “mutt slut.” That’s not true. I’m purebred. So I’m not a mutt. As for being a slut, that’s up for debate. I’m not one as compared to the…

“Please stay on the line, and keep kneeling.” — The congregation of a Michigan church believes God has ceased answering their prayers. They initially assumed it was due to supply chain problems. That God had run out of give-a-damns. The church is Gills Pier Presbyterian. It’s located on the Leelanau, a peninsula in Michigan’s Up North known for vast…

What Trumpsters will go through to get a forensic election audit — A lawsuit to overturn the results of the Arizona gubernatorial election has been dismissed because the plaintiff can’t parallel park and chew gum at the same time. The parking exam is one of the tests implemented by Arizona courts to deter election-denial lawsuits. They had to do something. …