Published in The Haven·4 days agoRepublican Team-Building TrainingTeaching people to achieve a common goal — The secret agreement made by Kevin McCarthy to become Speaker of the House has been made public. Most of it isn’t surprising. The committee assignments for Freedom Caucus members. Creation of subcommittees to harass the Biden Administration. Kevin’s promise to undergo Matt Gaetz’s next colonoscopy for him. But one item…Humor6 min readHumor6 min read
Published in Dialogue & Discourse·5 days agoCrapshootBefore you walk out on strike, ask yourself: “Do I feel lucky?” — To those of you who are familiar with my writing, please note: this article deals with a serious subject. If you prefer to read my satires, skip this piece and wait for the next one to be published. Labor strikes in the United States have sharply increased during the last…USA12 min readUSA12 min read
Published in Everything Fun·Jan 7“Shut Up And Lick Me!”Warning, this story is rated R for Ruff. — My name is Miss Piper La Grange. I’m a ten-year-old Border Terrier. I’m here to respond to dogs who think I’m a “mutt slut.” That’s not true. I’m purebred. So I’m not a mutt. As for being a slut, that’s up for debate. I’m not one as compared to the…Humor5 min readHumor5 min read
Published in Everything Fun·Dec 19, 2022“Your Prayer Will Be Handled By The Next Available Angel”“Please stay on the line, and keep kneeling.” — The congregation of a Michigan church believes God has ceased answering their prayers. They initially assumed it was due to supply chain problems. That God had run out of give-a-damns. The church is Gills Pier Presbyterian. It’s located on the Leelanau, a peninsula in Michigan’s Up North known for vast…Humor5 min readHumor5 min read
Published in The Haven·Dec 7, 2022A Forensic Rectal AuditWhat Trumpsters will go through to get a forensic election audit — A lawsuit to overturn the results of the Arizona gubernatorial election has been dismissed because the plaintiff can’t parallel park and chew gum at the same time. The parking exam is one of the tests implemented by Arizona courts to deter election-denial lawsuits. They had to do something. …Humor6 min readHumor6 min read
Published in The Haven·Nov 21, 2022Lindsey Graham’s Patented Brown Nose Whitener®And other new products for MAGA minions. — Blake Masters, the Republican who lost the midterm election for Arizona senator, is trying to monetize his fame before it evaporates. He’s selling a mouthwash which he claims will eliminate woke mouth odors. The product, however, seems dead on arrival. As was almost the blond infomercial model he breathed on…Humor5 min readHumor5 min read
Published in Everything Fun·Nov 11, 2022“When Should A Dog Put Their Human To Sleep?”When they butt-scoot ‘round the house? Can’t clutch their mud? — My name is Piper La Grange, I’m a Border Terrier, and I’ve got a question for dogs whose human parents are old: when is it time to put them to sleep? That’s not something we like to think about. We typically don’t have to: our parents normally outlive us. But…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published in The Haven·Oct 24, 2022White Evangelicals File For Divorce From GodCite religious differences. — White evangelicals have filed for divorce from God in Michigan’s 20th Circuit Court, located in Ottawa County. They submitted the paperwork last Friday. But they’re behaving like it’s a done deal. …Humor6 min readHumor6 min read
Published in The Haven·Oct 10, 2022“Republicans, Train Your Mutts To Sit-Stay”“Feel free to use a shock collar.” — My name is Spike. I represent dogs in the United States who are owned by Republicans. I have an urgent message for Republican dog-moms and dog-dads. You want us to behave properly? You want us to not chase, chew, beg, bark, hump, pee, or poop in certain situations? Be consistent…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published in The Haven·Oct 2, 2022Invasive SpeciesLike seagulls, they drop in, eat all the food, and crap on everyone. — In 1830, the State of Michigan got into a territorial dispute with the government of Canada: Michigan demanded it take a scrap of its land; the Canadians didn’t want it. The disputed plot of land was the Leelanau, a peninsula which juts forty-five miles into northern Lake Michigan. It’s easy…Humor6 min readHumor6 min read
