This piece almost went the other way. The premise involved extreme right-wing women. And since they don’t have penises, their affliction was uncontrollable ass-scratching. Then I realized readers would be screaming with boredom, and dropped it.

Naw, I haven’t sent Penis Change anywhere besides The Haven. After glancing at a few online humor mags, I got the impression that faux news isn’t wanted by anyone except The Onion.

That’s ok. If I can occasionally get a Cat Lady to laugh - they’re as finicky as the cats who own them - then I’ve accomplished something.

Say hello to Bernie for me. A muse and keyboard companion; he’s a keeper!