Thank you Lisa. There’s a problem with this piece: it’s out of date. When I wrote it, the neighborhood QAnoners (a nice couple in their late 60s) were treating some of the conspiracy theories I mentioned as breaking news. They’ve since moved on. The latest - I kid you not, Lisa - is that people shouldn’t eat processed chicken products like McNuggets. The reason is that they contain ground-up children who were discarded after liberals kidnapped them and drained their blood for Satanic rituals.

So you can treat much of the stuff in this piece as actual conspiracy theories. But they’re oldies-but-goodies. If you want to appear hip-and-happening, acquaint yourself with the latest contheories.