Thank you, Janice, for mentioning me in this article. However, I have a concern. You're a highly-regarded writer. Your posts about living in France, in particular, stand out for being informative, fascinating, and entertaining. And your hair is to die for.

Now you've associated yourself with me. Me, a barmy old woman who writes about recycled vibrators, felonious dog pooping, and dating demons. That can't be good for your reputation.

Fortunately, you'll post a fresh story, readers will love your writing, and they'll chalk up your mention of me to a long afternoon of champagne-absinthe cocktails with Oysters Rockefeller.