Thank you, Doctor. I imagine you can plainly see how I create a satire. Start with a concrete foundation consisting of what people actually say or do. Then merely take it to a logical but absurd next step. And do it in the detached context of a news item.

Your humor operates on a higher plain. "My encounter with Death!", for instance. You recounted a personal experience. Grabbed my attention in with the opening lines. Amped up my interest such that put off a bathroom break to stick with the story. Then dropped an avalanche of an ending on me.

It's not in my nature to write at your level. But as when these old eyes watch a gymnast nail a landing, I nonetheless wish I could pull it off.