Shirley, you’re an uncommonly clever writer. I’ve learned remarkable things about cubicle life from “Killer Confessions From a Co-Worker” and “Loathsome Lessons From Cubicle Hell.” (Such as that I don’t want to work in a cubicle.)

That said, I question the wisdom of referencing me in this article. It will do your reputation no good to be associated with an unbalanced old woman who writes about recycled vibrators, men’s moobs, and prostate glands with teeth.