Recent studies have suggested the reason why Trump is so popular in America, and has an even chance of being re-elected president. It’s due to widespread cognitive impairment resulting from a massive, years long outbreak of The Clap. It originated among the usual suspects: American sheep herders; U.S. Navy sailors; U.S. Navy sailors who herd sheep. Regardless, it’s a cunningly drug-resistant strain of gonorrhea. It has roamed freely under our spacious skies. Gone across our amber waves of grain. Broken through our purple mountains majesty. And has debouched onto our fruited plain. It’s making its way from sea to shining sea, corroding Americans’ common sense as it goes. And in so doing, this nefarious form of The Clap makes Trump seem like a reasonable choice for President.

That’s the current theory as to why Trump is so popular. Time will tell if it’s correct or not.

In the meantime, British tourists have a choice to make. Vacation in Paris, and risk getting bed bugs. Or go to Disney World in Orlando, Florida, and risk getting a different kind of bug.